Christmas musings and an Ascot handicap

Last Sunday afternoon, while watching 'The Grinch' on telly, I was suddenly distracted by a story in the Racing Post about an anonymous punter who walked into a Ladbrokes shop and collected £60 on a bet placed on Denman to win the 2009 Hennessy Gold Cup. 

The punter in question discovered the sleeper "while cleaning out clothes" so I thought I'd better check out my old clothes - not an insignificant undertaking, I might add, given I don't own many new ones - just in case... I didn't manage to back Blowers at 300/1 yesterday and, of course, I'd appreciate an unexpected bonus at any time of the year. Who wouldn't? 

Following protracted searching carried out during the week, so far I've turned up a collection of items that a contestant on a Christmas edition of The Generation Game would never have seen pass by on the conveyor belt: a small HB lead pencil; one monocle with cracked lens; a pair of bicycle clips; a broken cigar; some fluff; a White Horse whisky miniature drained of its contents; a Steradent tablet; a Moet & Chandon champagne cork, and a faded black & white photo of a man known to all in the family as Uncle Fester - Fester for short; together with five tangled tissues; four sticky sweets; three thrupenny bits; two train tickets (London Waterloo to Kempton Park return); - and an old William Hill betting slip...

'Oh no you didn't!'

'Oh yes I did!'

'OH NO YOU DIDN'T!'

'OH YES I DID!'

Unfortunately there was nothing written on it.

Followers of pantomime horses, collectors of unused betting slips, read on.

Thirteen have been declared for the Ascot Rotary Club Festive Handicap Hurdle (3.35) run over one mile seven and a half furlongs; the going is currently described as soft, good to soft in places, with sunny intervals and light winds forecast.

Two weeks ago Gary Moore sent out four winners over the course of Sandown's two day meeting; his Mondo Man is priced up favourite here.

'Oh no he isn't!'

Don't start.

With a Flat rating of 105 - he finished fourth behind Calandagan in the 2024 King Edward VII Stakes at Royal Ascot - the chestnut four-year-old races off a mark of just 123 on handicap debut. 

Second over this course and distance behind Lulamba in January (pulled too hard), he subsequently finished ninth in the Triumph. A handicap blot? He remains a maiden over hurdles and, to date, has shown a preference for better ground.

Five weeks ago Alexei looked impressive hosing up six lengths clear in the Greatwood (Helnwein second, Faivoir third, Welsh Charger fourth, Fiercely Proud fifth) 

The first five from that race re-oppose here and, unsurprisingly, the handicapper has had his say. 

Alexei has been raised 13 pounds for that six length defeat of Helnwein who in turn finished seven lengths ahead of Faivoir and has been raised four pounds. Fifth horse Fiercely Proud, winner of last year's renewal of this race off 128, has been dropped one pound to 135.

Should Alexei prevail here, then connections are likely to look seriously at a Champion Hurdle entry.

Back in October 2024, David Crosse from the Noel Fehily Racing Syndicate said of Helnwein in a Straight from the Syndicate article [RP Weekender 23-27.10.24]:

"He's a very exciting 2m chaser and we can't wait to see him jump a fence."

Before the start of the core 2025 season handler Alan King said in a Sporting Life article:

"We will go chasing at some stage again with him, but the plan, at the moment, is to head to the Greatwood at Cheltenham. Whether he has a run beforehand I don't know, but he has got a good record fresh. We will go to Cheltenham and then we will decide if we go chasing again.

"I think he will take to fences, but he is an early and late season horse as we lose him though the winter. He doesn't want soft, or heavy ground, even though he has form on it. He is a much better horse in the spring."

Faivoir made good ground from rear in the Greatwood to finish third but both Welsh Charger and Fiercely Proud were outpaced from two out before staying on up the hill.

Of Faivoir, handler Dan Skelton said in a recent Sporting Life stable tour:

"He is a little rascal in that he does what he wants when he wants."

There were bits and pieces for Welsh Charger at Cheltenham. He raced prominently for much of the trip and, beaten just over 13 lengths, he's certainly entitled to finish closer to Alexei; the same comment applies to Fiercely Proud. 

Take Alexei out of the Greatwood and Helnwein would have won with something to spare - I think the second recorded a personal best in the race. He meets Alexei nine pounds better off for six lengths, racing off a career high mark of 133; the handler's comments above appear to indicate it would be unwise to assume he will reproduce the same level of performance tomorrow.

Wilful finished third behind Celtic Dino and Alexei in the Welsh Champion Hurdle at Chepstow in October. On that occasion Jonjo O'Neill's charge had to concede seven pounds to Alexei and was beaten just under four lengths; tomorrow he will be in receipt of 12 pounds from that rival. The yard is slowly emerging from a quiet spell.

Two make their seasonal debut - Live Conti and Wreckless Eric.

Dan Skelton had said the ground at Cheltenham in October was unlikely to be soft enough for Live Conti; subsequently the gelding was scheduled to run in the Gerry Feilden at Newbury but missed that engagement on account of soft ground. 

Connections clearly hold this one in high regard. His second behind Murcia in the Grade 1 Boodles Anniversary 4-Y-O Juvenile Hurdle at Aintree in April catches the eye - six length Fred Winter winner Puturhandstogether was behind in third. 

However, since this race moved to Ascot in 2001, only three four-year-olds have prevailed: Cause Of Causes (2012); Sternrubin (2015 - in a dead-heat with Jolly's Cracked It); and Tritonic (2021). No four-year-old has carried more than 11-00 to victory.

In March Wreckless Eric snatched second from Afadil in the Imperial Cup won by Go Dante (Hardy Du Seuill fourteenth). Prior to that Hardly Du Seuil and Wreckless Eric finished fifth and sixth respectively, the pair three lengths or so behind Secret Squirrel at Windsor.

Two of Hardy Du Seuil's three hurdle wins have come at Windsor; in the past the eight-year-old has jumped to his left on occasions when racing on a right-handed track.

Olly Murphy had Indeevar Bleu and Sticktotheplan entered up but only the latter made the final declaration stage. 

This one won the Persian War at Chepstow on his first run for new connections but disappointed behind Diamond Hunter and Masked Man at Haydock next time. Good ground appears important to him; this is his first run in a handicap.

Joyeuse comes into this after filling the runner-up spot on two chase starts this season. 

Off a mark of 123, and under a textbook ride by Nico De Boinville, the grey mare beat Lump Sum eight lengths in the William Hill Hurdle at Newbury in February. Tomorrow she goes off 140.

Four-year-old Hot Fuss lost two places in the final strides when fourth in the Fred Winter in March.

Beaten eleven and a half lengths behind East India Dock in the Chester Cup, the gelding finished mid-division in the November Handicap at Doncaster before coming home in sixth behind Tutti Quanti in the Gerry Feilden three weeks ago. Rated 92 on the Flat, he goes off 123.

An enthralling renewal - it's possible to make a case for several in the field.

I keep coming back to the Greatwood form; Alan King's quote about Helnwein reported on the Racing Post site this evening has helped to allay doubts:

"He has always run his best races either in the first part of the season or towards the end, but for some reason he hasn't performed well after Christmas. I was delighted with the way he travelled throughout his race at Cheltenham and, remember, he was also second in the Swinton Hurdle at Haydock in May. So hopefully, he'll be right there at the finish again."  

Helnwein is the each-way suggestion, at the time of writing 12/1 with several layers, William Hill and Betfred amongst those paying four places.

Right, off now to see what I can find in the pockets of my tweeds...

Season's greetings.

A Doncaster distraction at Christmas

This year I've asked Santa for a copy of 'From Bicycle to Bentley, A Bookmaker's Story: by Stephen Little', written by Rupert Mackeson, in the forlorn hope of stumbling across the odd helpful hint or two.

Speaking personally, I'm still at the bicycle stage myself, although I haven't been seen out on it for quite some time - I picked up a flat six months ago and can't afford the repair.

Anyway, Santa's little helper has indicated she's having a spot of bother laying her Christmas mittens - rather prettily adorned with yuletide kittens - on a copy of the desired tome; I'm tempted to resubmit the request, ask Santa for a Bentley, and be done with the matter.

In the meantime, apropos of nothing in particular, the book I'm currently working on, 'From Cyclist to Pedestrian', is scheduled for publication late next year.

Attempting to boost my flagging festive finances, I've fudged the Cheltenham Christmas meeting card - whatever happened to the International? - and taken a diversion to Doncaster instead where the going is described as good to soft, good in places on the hurdles course. 

Rare Edition's seven length defeat of Rubaud at Kempton on Boxing Day last year is a piece of form that catches the eye in the handicap hurdle at 2.40 but it's the bet365 Handicap Chase at 3.15 that has piqued interest with a couple available at double figure prices. 

At the time of writing three are bidding for favouritism - Forward Plan, Mister Coffey and Sail Away.

Conceding a stone Sail Away beat Forward Plan 11 lengths in the Novices' Champion Handicap Chase at Ayr in April; the grey likes to race prominently and, generally speaking, jumps well. 

In the autumn Dan Skelton indicated they were considering a stab at the Charlie Hall or the Sefton with this horse but he made his seasonal debut at Newbury just two weeks ago where he finished fifth behind Kandoo Kid.

Forward Plan, not a big scopey type, was held up in rear before weakening out of contention in the Badger Beer won by stablemate Blackjack Magic last month.

Mister Coffey has yet to win in ten starts over fences.  

Whistleinthedark made the odd error in the Paddy Power Gold Cup last time and nearly came to grief four out; he eventually finished eighth behind Stage Star. Placed twice in three mile points, this represents his first try at this trip under rules. 

There are two previous course and distance winners in the field. 

Twoshotsoftequila was second to Some Scope at Catterick last time, looks unexposed, and is just one pound higher here. 

Manofthepeople tends to race prominently but his jumping isn't always foot-perfect. 

At Ascot three weeks ago he looked a little unlucky, unseating Connor Brace at the fourth after Emir Sacree appeared to jump left-handed into his path. Fergal O'Brien's charge has been the subject of market support this afternoon.

Castle Robin hasn't had a run since coming to grief behind Midnight River in the Freebooter at Aintree in April. He has gone well fresh in the past; the defeat of Laskalin at Sandown in February is respected.

Ciel De Neige, formerly trained by Willie Mullins, has some interesting bits and pieces of form including third in the 2019 Boodles, sixth in the 2021 County Hurdle and sixth behind Ash Tree Meadow in the Galway Plate in August. This is his first run for Ben Haslam.

Ben Pauling saddles two.

Nestor Park was third in a veterans' race at Aintree last time while Slipway finished ninth behind Malina Girl at Cheltenham.

I've watched a replay of the Cheltenham race - Slipway ran well for a long way and seemed to enjoy himself up front before fading out of contention from three out over an extended trip of three mile three furlongs. 

To my mind that run, his first following wind surgery in the spring, was the best we've seen from him since he won the Southern National at Fontwell just over twelve months ago. 

Luca Morgan was in the plate that day; his brother Beau takes the ride tomorrow and claims five while Kielan Woods, who was aboard at Cheltenham, rides Nestor Park. 

Last week's selection, Minella Trump, missed the Becher at Aintree on account of the heavy ground and turns up here instead. 

Donald McCain's charge boasts a decent record over the larger obstacles - placed in 11 of his 13 chase starts to date - and has won off this mark previously. 

He was beaten a long way (77 lengths) on seasonal debut in a handicap hurdle at Cheltenham four weeks ago but the yard boasts a win strike rate of 21% over the past fortnight and sent out Wholeofthemoon to win the novices' handicap hurdle at Doncaster earlier today at odds of 80/1.

Betfred, Sky and bet365 are paying four places this race; at the time of writing both Minella Trump and Slipway are 20/1 with Betfred and sponsors bet365.

Sail Away makes most appeal of those at the head of the market; in a race where there will be plenty of pace Slipway is the each-way suggestion, priced 20/1 with Betfred and bet365. 

Christmas wishes for 2019

The blow-up beds have been deflated and salient family members shoved out the front door and up the road to church.

Fair play to the parish priest too - he's ever eager to play the part of pantomime villain by further elongating an already elongated religious celebration.

The Christmas Day post is never an easy post to write - looking to offer some small crumb of hope and comfort to those forced to spend the day with relatives they wished were a lot further away than they actually are. And then Auntie Betty drops her false teeth into the trifle.

Six cards (Huntingdon abandoned) to analyse before salient family members return - an impossible task, even with the initial spadework carried out last night.

The trouble is this year I think I might have chanced on something that might have half a chance.

The King George and Christmas Hurdle at Kempton promise some fascinating clashes but I won't be having a bet in either; Commanche Red can be given an each-way shout in the 1.20 on the back of  his third behind Nube Negra and his third behind Reserve Tank.

Wetherby's Rowland Meyrick Chase (2.10) will prove informative and Zerachiel - with seven pound claimer Charlie Todd in the plate - can be given every chance in the Lincolnshire National at Market Rasen (2.15) on the back of his second place in this race last year.

I'm off to Wincanton though where Paul Nicholls is usually the trainer to follow.

But what's this? Fresh from pulling off a stunning victory with Not So Sleepy at Ascot on Saturday, renowned Flat trainer Hughie Morrison sends *three* runners to the track - Urban Artist (12.55); Third Wind (1.25) and Supamouse (3.45).

The stable's updated figures with their jump runners after Not So Sleepy's win now read:

Season to date: 4 wins from 9 runs (44%); +23.50 points profit
Last five years: 23 wins from 116 runs (20%); +34.29 points profit

A 1 point each-way patent (outlay 14 points) returns 430 points (using prices quoted today as a guide) in the admittedly unlikely event Mr Morrison's three runners win.

Now, we all know it's been a bumpy year but at least there's something to distract you from Uncle Albert's political ramblings over the Christmas turkey...

With best wishes to all readers this Christmas time.

Christmas comes but once a year...

This time last year I was the rather fortunate recipient of three bottles of wine in a rather fetching presentation box that one of my sisters-in-law mistakenly sent to me instead of my mother and father-in-law.

A gift horse at Christmas told the propitious tale in its entirety and proved one of the most popular posts of the season yet, tellingly, contained next no racing content whatsoever.

Unfortunately my sister-in-law hasn't repeated the trick this year so, like everyone else, I'm obliged to offer a sentence or two on the approach of the end of the decade.

Ten years ago Richard Johnson had just ridden 2,000 winners and Ruby Walsh was about to ride Kauto Star to a fourth consecutive King George; the comments-in running described Kauto's victory as 'magnificent'.

That said, the plot lines for the Christmas Day episode of East Enders appear to have hardly changed at all over the past decade.

This year's King George looks more competitive than the 2009 renewal but my cunning plan to bet Bristol De Mai each-way at around 25/1 has been foiled as there are now only seven runners left in the field - and Bristol De Mai isn't one of them.

Jockey bookings have caught my eye for tomorrow's Betfair Exchange Trophy at Ascot (3.35); the going is currently heavy, soft in places and an inspection is scheduled for eight o'clock.

Tom Scudamore, successful at the track earlier to-day on his sole mount Israel Champ, has one ride booked tomorrow - Umbrigado; Tom prefers to ride here rather than Daklondike in the Tommy Whittle Chase at Haydock.

Meanwhile Harry Skelton has one ride booked at Haydock - Crosspark in the Tommy Whittle - while Bridget Andrews picks up the ride on Mohaayed.

Mohaayed won this race last year but trainer Dan Skelton has since said:

"...but his last place in the Welsh Champion Hurdle [19 October 2019]...confirmed what I've believed for a while, that the handicapper needs to give him a break."

Fair play to the handicapper too - for once he appears to have listened by dropping the horse back to a mark of 145, the very mark from which the gelding won the race last year. It's just that Harry Skelton prefers to ride Crosspark at Haydock.

Richard Johnson prefers Crooks Peak to Zanza which brings in Greatwood Hurdle form. Five weeks ago the Alan King trained Harambe pipped Gumball at Cheltenham with Monsieur Le Coq third, Quoi De Neuf fourth, Zanza sixth, Countister seventh and Mohaayed ninth. The fifth horse, Dame De Compagnie, looked impressive winning the Park Mares' Handicap Hurdle at Cheltenham last week.

The Greatwood wouldn't necessarily be the best form yardstick to use; winner Harambe was priced up favourite earlier in the week but has since been the subject of an injury scare. I couldn't be certain but I think there was a doubt about Harambe before the Greatwood.

Paul Nicholls saddles two four-year-olds with Harry Cobden aboard Tamaroc Du Mathan. After a long layoff this one ran well behind Master Deboniar at this track last month; Master Debonair gave hotpot Ribble Valley three pounds and an eight length beating earlier today. All that said, Nicholls' stable form is just 2-26 (8%) over the past fortnight.

The ground would be a worry for the Nicky Henderson trained French Crusader but Not So Sleepy, 94 on the Flat, fourth in the Cesarewitch and on Racing Post ratings joint top with Mohaayed here, is respected. Hughie Morrison's charge was gifted an early lead last time but I like this handler's jumps runners who are always worth a second look; in the past five years he boasts a 19% win strike-rate with his jumpers showing a profit of 29.79 points while this season he has recorded three wins from eight runs and returned a profit of 19 points.

A hugely competitive event and Tom Scudamore's decision to ride Umbrigado (David Pipe: 'he'll cope with the ground as well as anything I think') does not go unnoticed but I'm going to take an each-way chance with Whoshothesheriff.

Phil Kirkby's runner has a consistent profile - to date he has been placed in the hurdle races he has completed and last April won at a right-handed track  - Carlisle. He looked a tad unlucky the last day when run down on the long run-in after the last at Haydock; the step back in trip here should suit.

Generally a 12/1 chance, Sky Bet are paying one fifth the the odds six places; Whoshotthesheriff is the each-way suggestion.

Finally, for those worried by impending Christmas doom, here's a little something to ease the pain - the Boxing Day declarations.

Christmas jumpers

On official ratings tomorrow's Long Walk Hurdle (2.25 Ascot) looks at the mercy of last year's winner Unowhatimeanharry but his price has been steadily on the drift (out to 2/1 now) and the manner of the defeat by Beer Goggles last time has allowed room for the doubts to set in.

There's a school of thought that 'Harry', ten years old in a week or so, isn't the horse he once was.

Those looking to oppose are unlikely to be bowled over by the prices on offer.

The layers don't appear keen to take too many chances. Sam Spinner, with a record of four wins and two seconds from his six hurdle starts to date, is rated some 12 pounds inferior to the favourite yet is priced as low as 13/2 with Ladbrokes.

I like the Long Walk but this year's renewal looks difficult. Instead I've opted for an each-way chance in the concluding Racing Welfare Handicap Hurdle at 3.35.

Since the race's inception in 2001, no horse older than seven has secured victory and neither has one carrying top weight; last year Brain Power won under a burden of 11-11.

Elgin heads the handicap this year having won the listed William Hill Handicap Hurdle over course and distance at the beginning of last month (Air Horse One fourth, Verdana Blue fifth and Caid Du Lin seventh) and then following up in the Greatwood at Cheltenham two weeks later (Nietzsche sixth, Chesterfield tenth).

According to calculations I've carried out on the back of a discarded fag packet, Air Horse One is closely matched with both Elgin and, on a line through High Bridge, Charli Parcs, although the latter-named could well improve for his seasonal debut.

That said, Noel Fehily has ridden both Charli Parcs and Air Horse One; he was aboard the former at Newbury the last day and rides Air Horse One tomorrow.

Handler Harry Fry knows what's required - his Jolly's Cracked It dead-heated with Sternrubin last year (N. Fehily up) - and he should also have a decent idea where he lies with Air Horse One, Misterton finishing a neck second to Elgin in the Greatwood. Nicky Henderson has stated that both Charli Parcs and the mare Verdana Blue would appreciate slightly better ground.

Divin Bere, with Bryony Frost claiming five, warrants every respect; he has not been seen since finishing second in the Fred Winter and then second behind Defi Du Seuil at Aintree in April.

Seamus Mullins saddles two. Fergall ran a stormer to finish third in this last year at odds of 25/1 while Chesterfield came home eighth. The latter went on to win the Scottish Champion Hurdle but his comeback run in the Greatwood was a tad disappointing.

At the very bottom of the handicap Man Of Plenty has form behind Misterton, Limited Reserve (second in the William Hill Handicap Hurdle) and A Hare Breath which may suggest he could outrun his current odds of 66/1 (Betfair) but I'm conscious that in recent weeks blog selections have all been running like the proverbial drain...

I was taken with Air Horse One on his penultimate run here in the William Hill; Air Horse One is the each-way suggestion, available generally at 12/1 a quarter the odds four places.

On Boxing Day Bristol De Mai goes for the second leg of the £1 million bonus in the King George at Kempton.

His Racing Post rating of 189 is 11 points ahead of nearest rivals Fox Norton and Thistlecrack. That said, in a piece earlier in the week David Ashworth indicated the horse has shown his very best form on soft / heavy ground...

The going at Kempton is currently good to soft. Clerk of the course Barney Clifford states:

"I've two different forecasts, one with 20mm [of rain] and one with 5mm, so I have no idea... It's really volatile and sporadic - to have two forecasts so far apart, it's like the north and south pole. All I can do is tell people where we are."

Something to think about while the relatives squabble over Christmas dinner...

Season's greetings.

Cheltenham Christmas card 2014

The official going for tomorrow's Cheltenham card is good to soft yet only one race has more than eight declared, the Caspian Caviar Gold Cup due off at two o'clock.

Four weeks ago Caid Du Berlais won the Paddy Power Gold Cup (run over the old course) from Johns Spirit by a head with Edgardo Sol eighth, Ericht tenth and Easter Meteor pulled up.

Paul Nicholls' five-year-old heads the market for tomorrow's Gold Cup on the back of that run with the general consensus being the two mile five trip over the new course likely to suit.

Barrakilla can be effective with a racing weight and No Buts looked impressive at Newbury the last day while a case can be made for Attaglance who clearly likes Cheltenham (won the Martin Pipe Handicap Hurdle at the 2012 Festival, finished fourth in the 2013 Paddy Power Gold Cup and second in a listed novices handicap chase at the 2014 Festival) yet he still has to secure that first chase win.

This doesn't look the strongest renewal so I'm going to chance Ericht. Nicky Henderson's charge appeared a little unfortunate to stumble two out when a close third in last month's Paddy Power - with Barry Geraghty back in the plate, Ericht rates an each-way wager at 10/1 (Stan James).

Eight in the International (3.10) but with The New One starting odds-on the race doesn't make much appeal as a betting medium. A couple of points of interest:

Is Bertimont (second in Wincanton's Elite Hurdle) good enough to make a place? Will Mad Moose consent to race?

The Relkeel (3.45) looks trappy.

Rock On Ruby took the 2012 Champion Hurdle when trained by Paul Nicholls but was disappointing in the Elite five weeks ago; he has never won over this distance so presumably connections feel this trip is what is now required.

On official ratings Volnay De Thaix has every chance but he appeared to have a hard enough race behind Aubusson over three miles at Haydock three weeks ago - presumably connections feel the step back in trip is what is now required.

Lac Fontana has to concede four pounds to his four rivals but first-time cheekpieces may bring about improvement. 4/1 is tempting but on balance the weight concession means I'm not going to play.

In the Albert Bartlett at 2.35 I considered Emma Lavelle's Parish Business as a play against Blaklion but in the Weekender the trainer tells us she thinks her charge is 'high enough' in the handicap after finishing second to Fletchers Flyer at Ascot. Nonetheless,  'He's a real galloper and jumps superbly.'  
       
Only four in the field for the novice chase at 12.50 with this engagement Virak's second preference; the intention is to go to Doncaster for the bet365 Novices' Chase at 2.50. With Virak priced up favourite there, I'll be interested to see how Killala Quay performs.

Back in January I thought Killala was something to bet on at 5/1 in Warwick's Leamington Novices' Hurdle but he ran no sort of race on heavy ground and was pulled up.

He was well beaten behind Puffin Billy at Ascot on his chase debut three weeks ago but it was very soft that day; he'll certainly appreciate this step-up in trip.

A comment I heard after that Warwick run was the gelding prefers better ground - it doesn't look as though he'll get that tomorrow but I may take the chance if bookies are offering 7/2...

The Ghost of Christmas Past

There is something awful about Christmas; I'm sure I'm not alone when I say the one thing that keeps me going at this time of year is the thought of the King George at Kempton on Boxing Day. With a sense of deja vu, I quickly trawled back through previous Christmas posts, just to ensure I hadn't started to mellow in old age...

Last year racing was in the midst of the big freeze; I was reduced to penning an article on train-spotting of all things.

2009's entry attempted to sum up a racing man's Christmas while in earlier years I tried to stimulate some artificial jollity by recommending racing related games to readers. In 2007 Horsey Hoppers looked something of a dodgy also-ran but The Really Nasty Horse Racing Game (2006) proved an outright winner.

In today's Sunday Telegraph Rose Prince's 10 ways to kickstart Christmas has palpably failed to lift my spirits and wandering thoughts of warmer weather in the summer only bring back to mind the time John Parrott swindled me out of a small fortune on a Cardiff pub quiz machine.

Have yourselves a merry little Christmas...

Rescue required

There is something awful about Christmas.

A typical conversation around this time of year starts with the opening gambit 'What are you doing for Christmas?' In very general terms people tend to reply in one of two ways. The first reply is along the lines of they're going to relatives which means they won't have to worry about the cooking. What this *really* means is they would prefer not to go to the aforementioned relatives but from the gastronomic perspective at least there is some small consolation to be gained and appreciated. The second reply is along the lines of they're having people around. What this *really* means is they would prefer not to have the relatives around and they won't even have the consolation of not having to do the cooking.

As if all that wasn't enough to ruin your Christmas, you know that for months the BBC has charged its EastEnders scriptwriters to build up to yet another disaster / murder that will befall some poor unfortunate on the very evening of Christmas Day itself. I have never worked out why the really big horrors in EastEnders happen on a Christmas Day.

Fortunately the racing is there to keep us half sane. The reason you tend to have to queue to get on your local track on a Boxing Day is self-evident - both the people who went to their relatives for Christmas and those who had their relatives around for Christmas want to get away from their relatives. This year however there is a potential problem on the horizon in the shape of the weather. The 'cold snap' looks set to continue which is likely to spell trouble for the majority of turf fixtures scheduled to race on Boxing Day and heap further misery on those trying to avoid their relatives. Kempton Park has taken the precaution of covering the track but simply isn't anywhere near big enough to cater for all of us desperate to get away from our relatives.

I'll have to watch on telly and hope an each-way wager on 16/1 shot Barbers Shop in the King George can bring some light relief this Christmas time...

Christmas dilemmas

A few thoughts after quickly looking at the Boxing Day ante-post markets...

For the King George, Voy Por Ustedes is short enough given we don't know for certain whether he'll stay. On better ground Air Force One would have won the Hennessy; he's likely to get his ground here but regular jockey Noel Fehily misses the ride after breaking his collar bone in a fall at Fontwell yesterday. Just one win from the last thirty runs will be something of a concern for those thinking about backing either David Pipe or Nigel Twiston-Davies trained horses. Exotic Dancer is quoted at fancy prices but has only been left in as a precaution - the Lexus Chase in Ireland is his target. On Betfair Chase form there's not much between Snoopy Loopy and Tamarinbleu. With better steering on the jockey's part, Snoopy Loopy would have beaten Monet's Garden last time out over two and a half miles. Prior to that Huntingdon effort, I was concerned that Snoopy would get done for toe if he ran here on this flat track; now I think he represents decent each-way value. He's as tough as old boots but has been busy over the past weeks - I just hope this isn't one race too many. The bookies quote 33/1 Albertas Run but the horse is trading shorter on Betfair.

I think the Christmas Hurdle is more competitive than the market would indicate. Punjabi is the short-priced favourite; Paul Nicholls has issued an unusually bullish update about Pierrot Lunaire. Richard Johnson holds Snap Tie in very high regard while Straw Bear is a previous winner who hasn't really taken to chasing this term.

The Market Man is entered in the Feltham and jumped exceptionally well at Newbury last time; he's not one to take on lightly.

Up at Wetherby connections have entered last season's Arkle winner Tidal Bay in the three mile one furlong Rowland Meyrick. Trading at around 6/4 he's worth opposing as he's not guaranteed to stay and his jumping hasn't been flawless in the past - I think the fences at Wetherby are amongst the stiffest in the country. State Of Play won the Charlie Hall here early in November but at the weights he was entitled to and he only just got home ahead of Ollie Magern. I've had burnt fingers with State Of Play before; at this stage I'm unsure. Two I'll look at in greater detail are Nozic and Cloudy Lane. Standin Obligation also enters calculations but he was inconsistent when with David Pipe - perhaps the change of stable has proved beneficial.

Horsing about...

I've been on the lookout for a Christmas game and I think I've come across it in The Big Issue's Christmas Special. Horsey Hoppers sounds like space hoppers in the shape of horses and that's exactly what it is. Two players race each other around the living room in jockey silks. According to the website the game will be available from December 19th, which doesn't leave an awful lot of time to get things sorted, but it looks good fun particularly after a couple of your favourite Christmas beverages...

Bell's advertisements this Yuletide show a number of horses running on the side of a bottle of whisky, with a members enclosure badge proclaiming 'No horse goes as fast as the money you put on him'. In a similar vein, at this time of year the whisky in my whisky bottle goes down faster than the horses I put my money on.

Mrs Tips had alerted me to a piece in last Wednesday's Times which gave details of the Northern Cross, a Roman Catholic diocesan newspaper in the Hexham and Newcastle area, advertising for a racing tipster. Channel Four's Morning Line programme picked this up on Saturday and asked viewers to suggest a name for the new tipster. My own entry, had I made one, would have been Sinners' Winners, a re-working of the Punters' Prayer I religiously utter, kneeling at my bedside, the night before any big meeting:

Dear Lord, I know I'm a sinner,
But please, please, please,
Give me just one winner.
Amen.

Suggested TV viewing this Christmas

If East Enders and the impending death of Pauline Fowler doesn't make much appeal as your Christmas viewing, try following the series of Royal Institution Christmas Lectures delivered by mathematician Marcus du Sautoy which Channel Five are broadcasting daily at 7.15 from Christmas Day onwards.

The lecture on Tuesday 27th is billed as showing how maths can provide strategies for 'optimising success in game shows and gambling'. I'm hooked already.

In a similar mathematical vein, it looks as though the (rather modest) number of pounds I bid for a day at the races with The Times' Alan Lee as part of their charity auction event happened to be too small.

A happy Christmas to all (three) readers of this blog.

Christmas is coming...

No matter what you say, there is something awful about Christmas. This year, as always, my survival pack will include a copy of The Weekender, published on Friday, which will give details of all the Boxing Day entries.

Traditionally Boxing Day is one of the biggest racing days of the year with eight meetings scheduled to take place, the highlight being the King George VI Chase run over three miles at Kempton. By way of contrast the week before Christmas tends to be pretty low key. Racing hacks with a hatful of tips 'to cover the Christmas expenses' tend to predominate.

At this early stage Kauto Star looks the proverbial good thing in the King George and is priced accordingly. Looking (somewhat forlornly) for something to upset the applecart, the two I will concentrate on are Monet's Garden and the French horse Mid Dancer should he take his chance.

In the meantime, sorting through some old mail, I came across an invitation to join The Racgoers Club. A year's single membership costs £20; I'll give that serious consideration in the new year.

Christmas is coming

Picture the scene. It's Christmas Day, you've had more than you can take of family and relatives and, to make matters worse, all the traditional Boxing Day fixtures have been frozen off. What are you going to do?

You're going to start reading a racing book you had the foresight to ask for as a Christmas present. Here's a couple of suggestions...

Gambling: a story of triumph and disaster by Mike Atherton

Riding the storm: my autobiography by Timmy Murphy

Mark Johnson: the authorised biography by Nick Townsend

The festive season is also the time of year the Injured Jockeys' Fund makes a lot of its money. If you fancy making a purchase to support the work of this deserving charity, check out details on their website http://www.ijf.org.uk