An old man walks into a betting shop...

It's quite some time since I struck an 'over the counter' bet but, having run an errand for pork and leek sausages along with other sundry items last Saturday morning, I saw this promotion in the window of a local William Hill shop: 

Bet £10+ on racing, get free £5 bet on racing.

Unusually, I happened to have this spare tenner burning a hole in my pocket so, for old times' sake, I went in, wrote out the slip in my neatest hand-writing with one of those small biros: £10 win 1.50 Cheltenham The Real Whacker - how the memories came flooding back! - and promptly presented it to the dishevelled youth stood behind the counter. 

The receipt records the bet was struck at 08:39:45; when I politely enquired about my qualifying free bet, callow youth promptly informed me he wasn't authorised to give me one and if I wanted to claim it I'd have to return after 11.00 when a manager would be 'on site'.

Of course, I never managed to keep this rather hastily arranged appointment with a betting shop manager but I took the trouble to pop in the shop on Monday morning, just to clarify some T&Cs. 

Callow youth had been replaced by a more helpful young lady who, after some research, informed me my wager didn't qualify for the offer as I had placed it over the counter and not on SSBT.

'SSBT?' I asked.

She waved at a brightly lit terminal strategically situated over in a rather gloomy corner.

I thanked her for her help but, as I left the shop, noticed the original promotion still displayed in the window. 

The first of seven significant conditions listed in the small print read: 

"Stake £10 on selected UK Horse Racing meeting on SSBT or over the counter [my italics] and receive a free £5 bet."  

The last listed significant condition read: 

"Further terms apply."

Emboldened, I went back into the shop and, after further discussion, was advised to mail William Hill's customer helpline. My case is currently pending; I have been allocated a case reference number.

As we're repeatedly reminded during ITV's Saturday afternoon racing coverage: 

"It's who you play with."

Recent racing titbits

I don't know why but since the royal wedding matters royal continue to crop up. A couple of weeks ago the Daily Mail reported that the Queen had looked after Frankie Dettori's lost dachsund Scruby. Then at York last Thursday Midday won the Middleton Stakes while half an hour later the Queen's Carlton House won the Dante in some style. Her Majesty's colt, apparently gifted to her by Sheikh Mohammed, is now a short-priced favourite for the Epsom Derby on Saturday June 4th. All that has encouraged further royal foraging - Marcus Armytage in the Daily Telegraph pointed out that:

The Queen has never won the Derby - in 1953, the year of her Coronation, Aureole finished second to Pinza;

The last monarch to win the Derby was King Edward VII in 1909 with Minoru.

Professor Gerda Reith of Glasgow University has carried out research of a different kind and discovered that the use of Fixed Odds Betting Terminal (FOBTs) in betting shops can lead to problems. 'Betting machines are particularly risky because of the enormous speed at which they take gamblers' money.'

Today's students are likely to be familiar with the idea of running up big debts, so perhaps it's unsurprising to see the BHA trying to entice them into the world of racehorse ownership. Love The Races has leased Tim Vaughan's Tae Kwon Do to a select band of students until the end of June as part of a prize in a recently-held comeptition. Last time out the gelding ran better than his 14/1 market price would have suggested beforehand, finishing third in a handicap hurdle at Wincanton. I'd imagine connections will be keen to land a small race before the lease runs out. In a somewhat similar vein Bangor blog selection Wake Board won with his head in his chest on Saturday despite pulling hard through most of the race and a hiccup two form home; have current connections found the key to this enigmatic individual?

Finally, I leave you with the thought that you tend to come across a different type of woman in the jumping game. At the Punchestown Festival Ladies' Day recently Daybreak presenter Grainne Seoige turned up wearing steel toe-capped heels, no doubt of particular use when dealing with the unwanted attentions of over-amourous male punters keen to try their luck...

In a nutshell...

Those lucky enough to be at Newmarket yesterday saw something exceptional when Frankel demolished his field to win the 2011 2000 Guineas by six lengths; the crowd's applause commenced with two furlongs still to race. Earlier this afternoon Dettori rode 16/1 chance Blue Bunting to victory for the 'Boys in Blue' in the 1000 Guineas.

Today marks the fiftieth anniversary of the legalisation of UK betting shops. The spartan establishments those of us of a particular age used to frequent in the mid sixites bear no resemblance to our modern shops. Sound only commentaries, betting shop tax, it was something of a 'guilty pleasure'. Some complain the prevalence of Fixed Odds Betting Terminals (FOBTs) threaten to turn today's shops into glorified amusement arcades, yet in 2008 these machines became the first product to earn more for Ladbrokes than horse racing. Money talks, as they say.

All that contrasts markedly with the tales of chicanery and criminality I'm currently reading about in Nicholas Foulkes' excellent book 'Gentlemen and Blackguards: Gambling Mania and the Plot to Steal the Derby of 1844'; the paperback version is due to be released on May 26th.

The Punchestown Festival starts on Tuesday - latest declarations here. I've blogged selected races from this meeting in the past but due to commitments can't this year (probably something of a blessing!) Where possible, I'll post some selections...

A final footnote on the royal wedding... One of the troopers from the Household Cavalry was thrown from his mount as the wedding procession made its winding way from the Abbey back to Buckingham Palace. The thoroughbred sped past the newly-married couple and headed for Hyde Park barracks where it was caught; rumours that Her Majesty is considering supplementing the beast for this year's Derby are apparently wide of the mark.

Sunday shorts

Less than two weeks to the Epsom Derby and I still don't have much of an idea what what I'm going to back. At this stage, on grounds of value alone, I have to oppose St Nicholas Abbey. Henry Cecil's Bullet Train put in a decent performance to take the Lingfield trial but immedaitely after that race connections seemed to indicate they didn't think their charge good enough for racing's Blue Riband. Since then there appears to have been a change of heart, although Bullet Train doesn't give much away on the gallops. At the moment 10/1 Bullet Train is of some interest but I'm keeping my ear to the ground.

Canford Cliffs won Saturday's Irish 2000 Guineas in some style -that's two top milers in Richard Hannon's yard - the aforementioned Canford Cliffs and, of course, Paco Boy.

These days a trip down the local bookies to place a bet can lead to something else... Not only are you likely to be relieved of all your cash, there's a chance you could end up with a serious injury. Recently there has been an armed raid on a Ladbrokes betting shop in Peterborough while on Wednesday a policeman was stabbed in a betting shop in Bracknell, Berkshire.

Being the wrong side of fifty, I take that little extra delight in seeing an old-timer do the business. This evening then congratulations go to Ollie Magern who, at the ripe old age of twelve, rolled back the years and made all to win the Perth Gold Cup with something to spare at odds of 14/1.

Finally a story in the current Private Eye caught my eye but I don't have the issue to hand. Apparently a punter placed £20 with Paddy Power on Gordon Brown being the Prime Minister after the election. With the outcome a hung parliament, the punter expected to collect but was informed initially by the company that with a hung parlaiment there was no Prime Minister in post. A further query to the firm raised even more constitutional questions - I promise I'll try and dig out the details...